"I hate myself for what I have done" - Mika Myllylä
Compiled and Translated by Brian Olsen
October 30, 2001
Mika Myllylä released a book this past Saturday in which
he blames his positive results for Hemohes in Lahti on a panic
preceding the Lahti World Championships: "I ended up in this
because I wanted to be better and better. I wanted to have
a gold medal from World Championships, but I was sick immediately
before the race. I was in such a massive panic."
Myllylä admits to use of Hemohes, which is often used to
cover-up an athlete's use of EPO. He does not go into further
detail as to whether or not he made use of EPO directly in
his new book, however. "Those who wish to know more can read
the book," said Myllylä in a TV interview. Myllylä was exposed
in Lahti of this past year, along with many other Finnish
cross country skiers, following blood tests which revealed
traces of Hemohes.
"I hate myself for what I have done," Myllylä responded
in a television interview. "I had to dig down deep within
my soul to find myself. It has been a difficult process, but
I feel relieved now." Saturday's book release is Mika Myllylä's
first public appearance since the denial that Harri Kirvesniemi
and him gave the week after Lahti concluded last February.
"Have you told the whole story?" "I think so. Every person
has their own perspective. This is mine," concluded Myllylä.
One can only hope that the others convicted of Hemohes
use can come clean as well, and that the denials that were
omnipresent earlier this year finally come to a close. The
Nordic ski world needs such a closer. In addition to coming
clean in his book (although not entirely true in the sense
of EPO-guilt), Myllylä also hopes to one day return to Nordic