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"I hate myself for what I have done" - Mika Myllylä

Compiled and Translated by Brian Olsen
October 30, 2001

Mika Myllylä released a book this past Saturday in which he blames his positive results for Hemohes in Lahti on a panic preceding the Lahti World Championships: "I ended up in this because I wanted to be better and better. I wanted to have a gold medal from World Championships, but I was sick immediately before the race. I was in such a massive panic."

Myllylä admits to use of Hemohes, which is often used to cover-up an athlete's use of EPO. He does not go into further detail as to whether or not he made use of EPO directly in his new book, however. "Those who wish to know more can read the book," said Myllylä in a TV interview. Myllylä was exposed in Lahti of this past year, along with many other Finnish cross country skiers, following blood tests which revealed traces of Hemohes.

"I hate myself for what I have done," Myllylä responded in a television interview. "I had to dig down deep within my soul to find myself. It has been a difficult process, but I feel relieved now." Saturday's book release is Mika Myllylä's first public appearance since the denial that Harri Kirvesniemi and him gave the week after Lahti concluded last February.

"Have you told the whole story?" "I think so. Every person has their own perspective. This is mine," concluded Myllylä.

One can only hope that the others convicted of Hemohes use can come clean as well, and that the denials that were omnipresent earlier this year finally come to a close. The Nordic ski world needs such a closer. In addition to coming clean in his book (although not entirely true in the sense of EPO-guilt), Myllylä also hopes to one day return to Nordic skiing.

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